February 1, 2006

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss

Douglas Adams

Don't lose your head
To save a minute
You need your head
Your brains are in it
Burma Shave


No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy.

Henry A. Kissinger

COFFEE
part 10 of 23

In 1727, as a result of seedlings smuggled from Paris, coffee plants first were cultivated in Brazil. Brazil is presently by far the world's largest producer of coffee.

In 1900, coffee was often delivered door-to-door in the United States, by horse-pulled wagons.

In 1990, over 4 billion dollars of coffee was imported into the United States.

In early America, coffee was usually taken between meals and after dinner.

In Italy, espresso is considered so essential to daily life that the price is regulated by the government.

Good people are good because they've come to wisdom through failure. We get very little wisdom from success, you know.

William Saroyan

A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side), put his hands up like claws, and roar. Step, step, ROAR, step step, ROAR, all the way down the aisle.

The crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time hereached the pulpit. The little boy, however, was getting more and moredistressed from all the laughing and was almost crying by the time he reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear."


OUR FOUNDING FATHERS Educate your children to self-control, to the habit of holding passion and prejudice and evil tendencies subject to an upright and reasoning will, and you have done much to abolish misery from their future and crimes from society.

Benjamin Franklin

If you have two hourglasses -- one four-minute timer and one seven-minute timer, how can you measure nine minutes?

And which dwarf are you?

Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

My goal in life is to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.

Eat a live toad in the morning, and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

I've gained a few pounds around the middle. The only lower-body garments I own that still fit me comfortably are towels.

It's no accident many accuse me of conducting public affairs with my heart instead of my head. Well, what if I do? Those who don't know how to weep with their whole heart don't know how to laugh either.